i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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