would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize