Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
