Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
