We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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