I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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