Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Found your dick twin last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
