return my video game
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
