Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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