names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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