So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
