Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
