Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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