we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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