Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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