This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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