Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
