I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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