He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
