You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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