Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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