The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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