Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
