TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
