Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
