saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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