I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
