I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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