To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
