Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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