Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

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(630): If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her. http://tfl.nu/sljo

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(360): View more from Washington

I don't think brook has ever known best

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(360): I don't think brook has ever known best http://tfl.nu/7v0v

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(916): View more from California

i think i have herpe

(1-916): View more from California

just one?

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(916): i think i have herpe (1-916): just one? http://tfl.nu/e1l6

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(217): View more from Illinois

you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...

(1-217): View more from Illinois

please don't ever take me to a strip club again...

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(217): you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals... (1-217): please don't ever take me to a strip club again... http://tfl.nu/2ds8

Replies (29) Good night (5852) Bad night (1548)
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(406): View more from Montana

There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!

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(406): There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go! http://tfl.nu/765a

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(720): View more from Colorado

No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.

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(720): No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No. http://tfl.nu/pprs

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(616): View more from Michigan

All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.

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(616): All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good. http://tfl.nu/bkrn

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(425): View more from Washington

What goes on in that head of yours?

(206): View more from Washington

Gay sex, for the most part. Why?

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(425): What goes on in that head of yours? (206): Gay sex, for the most part. Why? http://tfl.nu/64li

Replies (7) Good night (2128) Bad night (651)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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(773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp

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(856): View more from New Jersey

What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.

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(856): What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today. http://tfl.nu/ecb0

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.

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(704): Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox. http://tfl.nu/wyx0

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

Hey I found a cat!

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(270): Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do. (1-270): Hey I found a cat! http://tfl.nu/yvuv

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.

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(920): She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls. http://tfl.nu/7oj4

Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (246)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.

(609): View more from New Jersey

We won Spring Training 2013.

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(609): We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them. (609): We won Spring Training 2013. http://tfl.nu/awkc

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(623): View more from Arizona

At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.

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(623): At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside. http://tfl.nu/tt6u

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