god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
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I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.