Life is so much better after having sex.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.