Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!

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(517): View more from Michigan

hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?

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(905): View more from Ontario

ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.

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(623): View more from Arizona

He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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(941): View more from Florida

I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.

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(407): View more from Florida

Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.

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