dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize