I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
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I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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