I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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