I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
