Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
