smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
