Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
