Please, let me fuck your mom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
