SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
