so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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