I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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