whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
