I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
