OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
