She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
