i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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