I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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