Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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