tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
