At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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