New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize