i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
