It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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