Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They have beer where we have blood.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
