Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize