You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
