What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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