You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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