I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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