just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So. Much. Porn.
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