i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize