WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
