We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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