You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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