I want to make a zoo with you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
