i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
