the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
