There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
