hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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