alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
