I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
