i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
